Grey-rocking can subtly shift their attention and energy elsewhere. On the other hand, some people aren’t necessarily toxic, just annoying. You shouldn’t have to permanently change who you are in order to fit in or feel safe. Grey rocking should always be a short-term response to irritating or manipulative behaviors. If someone at work displays threatening behavior or breaches company policies, it’s important to take firmer action than the grey rocking method. Reach out to your manager or your human resources department, and voice your concerns. In these cases, being unresponsive and detached might be necessary in the moment if you feel unsafe, but isn’t an appropriate long-term response. You have a right to expect a safe and productive environment in which to work.įor example, sexual harassment and discrimination of any kind are grounds for termination. When it comes to toxic workplace behavior, grey rocking isn’t always the best solution. ![]() If you find yourself grey-rocking more often than not, something needs to change. Let's face it, being a grey rock probably isn't what you aspire to. ![]() A manager who doesn’t promote psychological safety in the workplace.A manipulative colleague who likes to start workplace drama.A team member with a negative attitude who likes to insult and belittle their peers.A narcissistic colleague who regularly gaslights you.Here are a few types of people with whom using grey rocking in the workplace can be effective: The end goal is to maintain boundaries and stop the negative behavior. Grey rocking can be used when interacting with a toxic person is required to meet your work objectives. That’s where the grey rocking technique comes into play. Working with a difficult colleague or manager isn’t ideal, but being around them may sometimes be unavoidable. However, walking away from a toxic person isn’t always possible. In this instance, walking away from them is something you might want to consider.Ĭhoosing to only surround yourself with people that boost you up will improve your self-worth and emotional well-being. When someone in your life acts in a way you perceive as toxic, you may choose to distance yourself from them.įor instance, say you have a friend who constantly has you walking on eggshells. Van der Linden teaches her clients how to use it appropriately when they deal with negative behaviors. Grey rocking is a strategy that some mental health professionals recommend to clients who have a toxic person in their life.Īccording to Nadene van der Linden, a clinical psychologist at the Massachusetts Association for Psychoanalytic Psychology, the grey rocking technique can be used in response to abusive, controlling, and manipulative behaviors. Or, ideally, give up the damaging behavior. Your lack of response will have them looking for someone else to target and project onto. A narcissistic coworker, for example, feeds on conflict, drama, and attention.īy making yourself and your interactions with them as neutral as possible, they’ll eventually lose interest. The idea behind this technique is that toxic people feed on your reaction. For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation. Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person’s behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you’re interacting with them.
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